You changed our lives on Sept 16, 12:17am when we received the phone call that was asking if Haley and I would take you in. Without hesitation I motioned to Haley “Yes!” as she listened to the details that our placement contact was giving us. Thankfully I had told Haley that I was planning on staying up late and was keeping her awake, so when we got the phone call for you, we weren’t half asleep and we were ready to take you in.
You came to our house about two hours later and promptly fell asleep in the pack-and-play that is in the kids room. I remember thinking “wow…this is actually happening, I have to take the time to remember this all before I forget and blog about this.”
So here I am four days later – getting a blog post saved to help me remember the experience of you helping me be a foster dad for the first time.
I have to say – there is a “shell-shock” experience that comes with it. No amount of preparation can take the edge off the “shell-shock” experience of being a dad for the first time. While it’s been four days – I still think I’m trying to adjust generally to this experience of having a child as part of my experience of my journey home.
I want to remember staying up late with you on Monday night and letting you sleep on my chest as I slept on the rocker chair / sofa because you didn’t want to sleep by yourself.
I want to remember the experience of you going to the swimming pool and adjusting to being in the kiddie pool (you’re not too fond of water) and your eventual warming up to playing in the pool and playing with the water fountains.
I want to remember the different facial expressions that you give – you’re very expressive. The whole gamut of emotions that you exhibit: laughter, sadness, happiness.
I want to remember the experience of feeding you and watching you pick at what you eat and what you liked and what you didn’t like. Oh, and you stuffing a handful of food in your mouth and me encouraging you to eat one bit of food at a time.
I want to remember the feel of your little arms and hands around my neck and feeling the softness of your facial cheeks. And you reaching up to itch your head because my scruffy beard was brushing your head.
Finally, I want to remember the joy that you’ve brought to our home.
While I don’t know how long you’ll be with us, you’ve messed me up, in a good way. Thank you for being a blessing to Haley and I.
i love you,
-your (foster) dad